Introducing Google Dreamsense

Google launches new product to increase ad viewership

When we last snuck into the Googleplex for lunch we noticed a very interesting whiteboard. It was titled “when don’t people search?” and there were various items listed. Next to “walking around” it had “google glass” written. Next to “driving” it had “autonomous car.” Next to “pooping” was a Google pixel. Next to “my parents” was “chromebook.” Next to “in the kitchen” and “in bed” it had “google home.”

Below all of that though, was written “when sleeping.” This led us to do some more snooping around and we discovered that the latest 20% project the head noodlers at Google are working on is called Google Dreamsense(tm)(pat. pending).

You’ve probably seen those employees walking around wearing Google style beanie hats. It turns out, these hats aren’t just fashion forward accessories of the season, but they’re also beta tests of the new Google Dreamsense.

We caught up with Google’s Gary Illyes for breakfast during #pubcon and asked him to confirm our discovery. After asking us to refer to him as an anonymous source, Gary our Anonymous Source revealed* that Google IS working on a new product called DreamSense.

Dreamsense offers the most targeted ads in the industry across an extremely captive audience. By wearing the Google beanie (and soon using the new Google Pillow(tm)(pat. pending)) users will be able to have custom dreams based around their own interests, search history, and deleted gmail drafts. Advertisers can then bid on product placement opportunities within those dreams.

Imagine you want to go on a date with the girl of your dreams. With Google Dreamsense, not only can you go on that date, but Olive Garden and Chilis can bid on having that date take place at their restaurant, all while the user earns enough money to cover the cost of an appetizer should they actually succeed in getting a real date, despite wearing such a ridiculous hat.

Thinking about buying a new car?  All you do is fall asleep and you’ll be behind the wheel of the latest sporty vehicle of whichever brand has leftover money in their psychological targeting budget.

You can even dream about impossibilities if you want, like the Cubs winning the world series. It would seem so real that you wouldn’t know the difference. You might even wake up thinking that it happened.

Of course, this may then lead into a whole new issue around negative ads, as Apple could make you dream that you’re being chased by exploding Samsung phones.  Or, one political candidate could trap you in a futuristic nightmare landscape run by their rival, where you’re forced to forage for scraps of rotten food while avoiding brain eating members of the Green Party.

We can’t wait, can you?

* by rolling his eyes at our question and saying “Really, guys?”.

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