10 Judge Judyisms for SEOs

Yeah, right, and I was born in 1965.

Courtroom firecracker Judge Judy kicked off her 21st season on September 12, giving the 10 million unemployed Americans who watch her each day a reason to get out of bed again.

And while Double J is perhaps best known for the Notorious-RBG-like following she has gained while delivering no-nonsense small claims justice in exchange for a cool $47 million a year, her courtroom antics – and endlessly quotable Judge Judyisms – are particularly relevant for us to newsjack SEOs.

That’s because, like Judy, SEOs sometimes face a lot of…foolishness. Although we have a sneaking suspicion Sheindlin would be more direct, which is actually the perfect segue: So, SEOs, the next time a colleague or a client irks you, take a page from Judy’s book (…or books…) and tell it like it is. [ed note: Or take a page from us. literally – by sending your colleague a link to this article. please?]

I.e.:

When you hear:

SEO is dead.

You reply:

judge-judy-morons

When you hear:

We’re ranking first for an industry term we came up with that nobody else uses. Why aren’t more people searching for it?

You reply:

judge-judy-best-day

When you hear:

Let’s do a blog post on what marketers can learn from Judge Judy!

You reply:

judge-judy-dumb

When you hear:

We need you to increase SEO 20 percent year over year, but we can’t make any code changes.

You reply:

judge-judy-gameshow

When you hear:

Google made angular.js, so it should be optimized automatically.

You reply:

judge-judy-beauty

When you hear:

We’re going to lazy load the text.

You reply:

judge-judy-stupid

When you hear:

If I do this one fix, how many more visits will I get?

You reply:

judge-judy-100

When you hear:

Can’t you just call Google?

You reply:

judge-judy-fine

When you hear:

We launched this site, can you SEO it?

You reply:

judge-judy-rock

 When you hear:

I know just enough SEO to be dangerous.

You reply:

judge-judy-applesauce

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