Category: rampant speculation

  • Introducing Google Dreamsense

    When we last snuck into the Googleplex for lunch we noticed a very interesting whiteboard. It was titled “when don’t people search?” and there were various items listed. Next to “walking around” it had “google glass” written. Next to “driving” it had “autonomous car.” Next to “pooping” was a Google pixel. Next to “my parents” […]

  • GoogleBot On Tinder

    What If Crawlers Were on Tinder?

    After the success of our last viral piece “What if Crawlers were Trees?”*, we’ve decided to beat the corpse of that particular deceased equine and return to the scene of the crime with yet another “What if Crawlers…” post.  So batten down your hatches, gird your loins, put the kids to bed, rub some…(get on […]

  • Penguin 4

    5 Reasons Why Google Penguin Hasn’t Launched Today [EXCLUSIVE!]

    Breaking news straight outta the Googleplex. No Google Penguin 4.0 update today. Here are five reasons why. 1. Zika Virus “Due to concerns over the Zika virus, Google Penguin will not be launching today,” according to a Google spokesperson. The Zika virus has reportedly spread to 61 domains where Google operates. “This was not an easy […]

  • Lizard People

    Google’s Reptile Disfunction

    Our woman at Google let slip that there’s a huge issue over at the ‘plex that they’re powerless to deal with.  Ever since Seinfeld let slip that Mark Zuckerberg was a lizard person (which he denied, but as we all know, only a lizard person would deny that they’re a lizard person), Google has been […]

  • Google Reverses Course – Now Offers Algorithmic SEO Certification

    WTFSEO EXCLUSIVE:  Google* has just offered up an alternative to disappointed SEO Experts who have been longing for the search engine giant to issue certifications to those desperately in need of thought leadership recognition.  After first declaring that Google “has no plans” to develop an SEO certification course program, this latest move is seen as […]

  • What is Google RankBrain?

    Since Google announced RankBrain late last year, the SEO industry has pretty much lost its mind. A barrage of articles, blog posts, and infographics all have promised to properly explain Google’s machine learning system. Yet none really have. If you’re still struggling to understand RankBrain, you aren’t alone. But there’s good news: you now have […]

  • Penguin Update Facts

    As the world prepares for the landing of Google’s promised upcoming Penguin update (ed – aren’t they flightless?).  We here at WTFSEO thought that now was the ideal time to set some things straight, ensuring that all the WTFSEOers out there have all of the facts they need to survive this site crushing update from […]