Since every other half-assed SEO blog is doing 2017 predictions this time of the year, we figured we should, too. Even though we’re not at the half-assed level yet, we do have traffic goals and a lack of actual content to post between now and the end of the year.
Of course, we personally have our thumbs on the pulse of the digital marketing industry, which means that we know everything that’s going on, and everything that will be, which means that we’ve provided exacting details and insights to the Latvarian ghost writer we picked up on Threer (until you lot start clicking on our ads we can’t afford Fiverr – ed).
As you know, our prognostication powers are second to none, especially with our close, close contacts within the search engines themselves (see you at the squash court at 7am for our regular game of mahjong, Gary – Ed), so without any further ado, here’s what you, our loyal, gentle, dear readers should expect in Gregorian calendar year 2017…
- In December 2017 every SEO news site will put out a list of predictions for SEO in 2018
- Prices for stock photos of fortune tellers and crystal balls will increase next December due to increased demand
- Artificial Intelligence will continue to grow in 2017. That’s right, if you thought intelligence of an average SEO wasn’t real, you’re not wrong. Most SEOs have never had real intelligence and it will only become more apparent in 2017.
- The number of RankBrain experts in the industry will continue to grow at an astounding rate.
- There will be a new industry acronym invented and it will become a hot industry trend. The conferences will get tons of speaker pitches and in a very short time nearly everyone who’s an SEO will be an expert on this new acronym.
- The acronym coined in #5 will be passe and overused within 2 weeks, and will generate posts on many sites about how hated it is.
- SEOs will continue to bitch about Google
- SEOs will continue to bow down before their Google overlord.
- SEOs will embrace wearables to a much greater degree than they do now. Many SEOs have the luxury of working from home so this has not been easy. We predict that at some point in 2017 a few SEOs that home office will actually put on pants for the day.
- Industry conferences will have slide decks that contain pictures of cats, superheroes, Star Wars, a quotes from Einstein, and lots of bullet points.
- A tweet by a Google employee will be taken completely out of context by an SEO news site
- Some SEO will take our prediction list and format it for a client presentation while claiming it as his or her own.
- SEOs will finally start caring about user experience, because that’s what really matter. OK, that was sarcasm – they’ll still just want rankings.
- SEOs will say “Google Says” constantly in conversation, client presentations, and industry banter.
- Whenever a group of 3 or more SEOs gather, the phrase “I miss Matt Cutts” will be uttered
- A news sites that relies on SEO for traffic will claim SEO is dead
- Someone will compare SEO to something – sparking outrage
- A couple of SEOs will spend a few minutes out of the year thinking about Bing.
- Bing will double down on emoji-based seo ahead of Google to capture GenZ.
- A majority of the 2017 SEO predictions on other industry publications won’t come true.
- In December 2017 some “SEO guru” will claim that their vaguely worded predictions from December 2016 all came true
- Someone will be featured on a “Top SEO” list who doesn’t actually know anything about SEO.
- Someone well deserving of being on a “Top SEO” list won’t get on it and will be hurt inside.
- Social Media Gurus will continue to say that SEO is dead.
- Owdy will outlive yet another social network, and continue at the same level of engagement as in 2016
- Some SEO will write a blog post saying that Google Plus is still important.
- We’ll once again learn 10 ways how SEO has evolved since the 90s.
- Google will make a change to one of their algorithm and it will piss off more than a few SEOs.
- Some piece of data will be published and taken out of context without being tested, which means that the thought that “every list must have 29 items in order to increase engagement” will take root and become an industry standard (just remember, we were there first – ed).
Well there you have it. These are our 2017 predictions. We’d love to hear yours. Actually, come to think of it, we really don’t. We’d rather just stay in our echo chamber and not have actual discussions with someone who disagrees with us.