Penguin Update Facts

As the world prepares for the landing of Google’s promised upcoming Penguin update (ed – aren’t they flightless?).  We here at WTFSEO thought that now was the ideal time to set some things straight, ensuring that all the WTFSEOers out there have all of the facts they need to survive this site crushing update from our Googly lords and masters.

  1. The Penguin update was named for the head engineer on the project, Pingu Tordtesmuller
  2. Although the Penguin update has nothing to do with real penguins, there are some similarities:
  3. When real penguins find a mate they stay together for years. The Penguin update’s effect on your site was modeled after this.
  4. A favorite activity of penguins is lying on their belly and sliding on snow. The penguin update however prefers turning sites belly up and letting their traffic slide.
  5. Penguin works by examining your link biodiversity, the juxtaposition of the crux of your anchor text diversity and the intersection of your domain strength with that of your competitive set’s link infrastructure, as it applies to a historical perspective of network theory.  Along with several other major, critical factors.
  6. The first Penguin update introduced a “Penguin Score” that’s only seen internally at Google, and is heavily influenced by how many times you link to WTFSEO.
  7. The partial rollback of the Penguin update is scheduled for 3 days post release.
  8. There are over 200 “How I recovered from the latest Penguin Update” posts in pending on various websites, waiting to be published within moments of the confirmation of  the release of the latest Penguin Update.
  9. Due to copyright restrictions, in Pittsburgh, and the immediate area, this update is known as “The Other Update”.
  10. Rumors that Google have hired the remaining cast members of  “Manimal” to record a TV commercial explaining the benefits of the Penguin update are apparently not true.
  11. Should you disavow too many links, you may be automatically selected for a Penguin review board, and have your site “brought up before the beak” as it were

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