A Week in the Life of a Typical Agency SEO

April 16th

The morning starts with a call with the Ruffington post for a product launch we’ve been working on for 18 months.  Checking the videos of Orangutans are approved, and tagged.

Next: Call with our Detroit office to see if they’ve done keyword research and competitive analysis on Orangutan / bicycle related keywords.  Check

Now to work out the budget for sending Orangutan themed cakes to Google so we’ll rank.  Can’t figure out excel, so give it to an intern to handle

Last thought of the day: Do trees have emotions?

April 17th

4:30am wake up.  Worried whether the Bangalore team did the ranking report.  Ping the team on Slack.  Nobody responds.  Eat breakfast while watching the news.

Ted’s back!  The guy nobody noticed had left the team last year is apparently back on the team.  Drinks tonight to celebrate!

Client calls to discuss the color of the wireframe, I drift off into thoughts about the situation in Eritrea while they drone on.

Bed: manage to fill in another 2 squares of the Sudoku puzzle I’ve been working on for 2 months…

Last thought of the day: Does human flesh taste like chicken?

April 18th

Still no word from Bangalore on the ranking reports.  Do a quick search on my phone, we’re #7 for “<client product redacted> is like a buffoonery of Orangutans riding bicycles”.  Job well done.  Submit project to 7 awards shows.

Go with team to Applebees to celebrate success.  Blow off 3 client calls, but if you don’t celebrate the wins, what’s the point?

Dinner with a couple I met on Craigslist.  They ask me not to contact them again.

Last thought of the day: Do fish even have fingers?

April 19th

Onsite meeting with client.  Uber driver tries to convert me to his religion, something to do with cheese, I take a pamphlet, and a sandwich.  Beautiful offices.  Wrong day, supposed to be there yesterday.  Total balls up.  We laugh about it.

Call the Ukranian team to see how the crawl’s going on one client’s site.  They don’t answer.  I’m sure it’s fine

Don’t go to the gym… again…

Last thought of the day: Horseradish

April 20th

Albuquerque. Flying visit to attend a client’s internal strategic SEO plan walk through.  Well worth the 14 hour round trip to get some face time.  Client’s cat was sick, meeting rescheduled to next week.  Namaste.

The week closes with a million and one questions flying around my grey matter.  Which clients will we get next week?  Why have we dropped to #12 for the Orangutan search? What should I wear on stage when we win the awards?  Who can I recommend we lay off to optimize the team structure?  Where’s Bangalore? Why did we lose seven clients this week? Why does my manager have a meeting scheduled with me and the head of HR on Monday morning?

Last thought of the day: I need to write this week up, and put it on WTFSEO so they can win awards.

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