The 55 Books Google Should Read Next

Here are the bestsellers we hope Google — and our readers — put on their nightstands.

Robot reading

Google is reading romance novels to improve its natural language processing, but we at WTFSEO believe once Googlebot nails the syntax and vocabulary Harlequin perfected, it has to expand its repertoire.

That’s because human beings have a range of emotions and needs that are all eventually reflected in their queries. And if Googlebot doesn’t want to be disrupted by another force with keener insight into what makes us tick, it has no choice but to bust out of that romance novel comfort zone and explore other facets of the human condition in a broader range of works.

And so we scoured our bookshelves for the titles we thought would provide the most valuable insight into humankind and offer maximum utility to a young AI. We compiled these books by genre below. And we purposely started with Love and Relationships to (hopefully) ensure a seamless transition from Romance.

However, we should note these are wondrous titles for any reader, so our recommendations certainly aren’t limited to Google alone.

Love and Relationships

Dating for Under a Dollar

How to Date a White Woman

The Romantic Text Message Manual

How to Poo on a Date

Make Him Beg to be Your Boyfriend

Everything I Know About Women

Who Cares About Elderly People

The Beginner's Guide to Sex in the Afterlife


Does God Love Michael's Two Daddies

If The Devil Made You Do It

If God Loves Me...

Health and Wellness

The Bible Cure for IBS

What Moles Tell You

Living Your Best Life

Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Mind Power


The No Cussing Club

Anybody Can Be Cool

The Zen of Farting

More of Jesus, Less of Me

Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals

The Joyce Lee Method

How to Live with an Idiot

Small Business, Entrepreneurship and Career

Marijuana Smuggling

How to Land a Top-Paying Pierogi Makers Job

Managing a Dental Practice the Genghis Khan Way

How to Succeed in Business without a Penis

The Madam as Entrepreneur


Crafting with Cat Hair

Knitting with Dog Hair

Fancy Coffins

Do-It-Yourself Coffins for Pets and People

Do-It-Yourself Lobotomy

Teach Your Wife

Still Stripping


Bowl Better

The Great Outdoors

What Bird Did That?

The Stray Shopping Carts


Sunbeams May Be Extracted


Fashion Cats

Why Cats Paint

Does God Ever Speak Through Cats

Is Your Cat Gay

The Relaxed Rabbit

Bombproof Your Horse

Joy of Chickens

Successful Muskrat Farming


The O'Reilly Factor for Kids

Raising Smart Kids for Dummies


Highlights in the History of Concrete

The Who's Who of British Beheadings


Cooking with Poo

Manifold Destiny

Spam A Biography

Be Bold with Bananas

50 Ways to Eat Cock

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