As the entire world is aware, [Beloved Celebrity] quietly passed away earlier today, and the entire WTFSEO staff is in mourning. So to alleviate our feelings of sadness we decided that the best thing to do was to write an article that tenuously linked [Beloved Celebrity] to [Email Marketing], because our editorial calendar said that [Email Marketing] was today’s topic.
If you remember that movie that really brought [Beloved Celebrity] into the nation’s hearts, you’ll remember that one scene where a minor character [sent an email] to the government official that led to the federal agents showing up in just the nick of time, we’ll use that to illustrate the power of [email].[Beloved Celebrity] was known for the wacky voice they did in that comedy, the one about the talking fish that told the future, getting [Beloved Celebrity’s] character into one amusing scrape after another. That illustrates the need to stand out, just like your [emails] should.
Of course, we don’t really know much about [Beloved Celebrity’s] home life, but let’s make the assumption that they were a prim and proper person, based solely on that movie they were in about the violinist with OCD who couldn’t keep a relationship going. Next we’ll say that your [emails] need to be targeted and correctly formed just like that character.
Finally we’ll boil their entire career down to that one catchphrase from that live action cartoon they did in the late 80’s and smarmily apply that to [email marketing] in a manner that leaves you shaking your head and sighing at the sheer dis-respectfulness of this entire post.
…and let’s not forget a link to a tribute video of [Beloved Celebrity] that’ll be taken down on the grounds of copyright infringement before we’ve even published this post.