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Twitter Explains Why You Can No Longer Use Words In Tweets

Is Twitter seriously removing words from tweets? YUP!

After removing ⭐ and share counts in recent weeks, it seems next on the ? block are these oddly-shaped things you’re currently reading – letters that we humans have been combining together for centuries to create words that convey ?.

Nearly every person on the planet uses words, except those few who can’t speak due to any assortment of ? or finger-related traumas, and those who rely on a series of clicking noises to communicate with their tribes. [ we’re not doing this emoji thing – editor]

Ironically, Twitter’s announcement to kill  words has sparked a lot of discussion. Many above-average SEOs are questioning why Twitter hates them so much and is intentionally ruining their bonus check goals that they tied to easily manipulated vanity metrics efforts to convince so many businesses and brands that Twitter has a quantifiable impact on their search visibility.

Today, Twitter has released a blog post, offering some insight into why they will no longer allow its millions of users to use words in tweets. While it won’t appease the hordes of angry Twats [Are you sure this is the right word? – editor], Twitter provided excuses about why they’re moving away from words in (their final) written blog post, “?, Words: It Was Fun While It Lasted ?”.

“Every hour, dozens of our users use the hashtag #nowords. We agree! In this day and age, we find it unfair that underprivileged word-users must contend with much more well-spoken, pithy, and insightful people. This is quite insensitive. So to right this wrong and truly make Twitter equal for all, we’re eliminating the use of words.”

The post went on:

“The Dictionary is more complicated than the IRS tax code! It’s time we return to simpler, more caveman-like times. After all, a picture, just like an emoji, is worth a thousand words. So really, we’re increasing character limits from 140 to 140,000. You’re welcome!”

Early speculation is that Twitter might make users pay for a premium word-based version, that could cost people up to $140 a month to share their fake sincerity, humble brags, venomous hate, links to non-Twitter-based content, quotes, and other assorted brain farts.

This also might be a bid for Twitter to gain more advertising revenue, as Twitter could easily arrange a series of emojis within Twitter Analytics to indicate that if users want to add words (Twitter AddWords, anyone??), they’ll have to pay for that privilege. It would likely look like this:

twitter-add-words

Translation: Want to use words? F*** you, pay Twitter.

No official word from Twitter on any of this, because, well, they’re ceasing all communication via written words. But they did send the following cryptic reply to another publication about the implications of Twitter’s post-word future:

¯\(°_°)/¯

Speaking of emojis, have you developed your SEO emoji strategy?

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