Our April Fools’ SEO Post

Today, April Fools’ Day, is the day when all of the “serious” SEO industry sites try to be WTFSEO.  They try to bedazzle their audience by making claims that seem almost plausible, but will find you laughed out of your office should you fall for it, and email your manager to tell them the “news”.

We sat here at the local mojito bar the WTFSEO office for a long time deliberating what we should do as a site that has integrity oozing out of every pore, and the loyal trust of the  WTFSEO community, of which you, dear reader, are a vital part.

We came up with the following ideas:

  • Claim to have been bought out by The Onion for $750k (ed’s note; if anyone from The Onion is reading this, it’s negotiable)
  • Claim that Matt Cutts has been hired as our Director of Search
  • A post about Google taking away the ability to see search results so you don’t even know where you rank
  • A post about Dingy winning the first Nobel Prize for Social Marketing (ed’s note; can you actually write that one up for next week?)
  • Pretend that Matt McGee and our Editor switched jobs for a day (ed’s note; no way, that sounds like actual work)
  • Print the actual Google algorithm (ed’s note; we only have the Bing one!)
  • Put out fake numbers that show that DuckDuckGo was the #1 search engine for March 2015
  • Pretend that we had a conference (ed’s note; we’ve  already done that)
  • Announce a new Google algorithm (ed’s note; we did that too)
  • Act all holier than thou, and make out that we’re better than all of those cheap, tacky industry sites that toy with the affections of their readers every single year in the same awful manner, then ritualistically slap each other on the back for being “fun”, while the readers are left to… (ed’s note; on the advice of legal counsel we’ve decided to end this post there)

 

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